Funny Blonde Jokes

HORSE BACK RIDING

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot became entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when

Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off. 

A BLONDE AND A LAWYER

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, who's tired and just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window. But the lawyer persists and says the game is easy and fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Your turn," says the lawyer.
She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers-to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, and hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought blondes were dumb.

FLYING A HELICOPER

A blonde had learned to fly a helicopter and was ready for her first solo flight. She was worried about going up alone however and asked her instructor to keep in touch over the radio.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "Everything is fine. The view up here is beautiful!"
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how well things were going. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
Then, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan."